As a politician, John Edwards used to have my respect. And I say the same thing about him being a man.
It was so nice to see Mr. Edwards finally come clean about being the father to Quinn, his 2 year-old daughter with Rielle Hunter. He spent the first two years of her life adamantly denying paternity and, subsequently, denying his obligations to his daughter. If only Maury was around as soon as she was born.
I take issue with men like John Edwards. I say to them, step up and BE a man. Be a father. The circumstances of a child’s birth are not their fault, so don’t treat them like the big mistake you may believe them to be. No career or marital situation, whether it’s in the public eye or not, warrants the denial of paternity. If you choose to behave inappropriately by cheating on your wife, then understand that there will always be consequences. And as John Edwards has learned, some consequences are more life-changing than others.
John Edwards lost the first two years of his daughter’s life. When she is old enough to understand the lies surrounding her arrival into the world, she may or may not forgive her father. That will be her choice. But, for now, it’s time for Mr. Edwards to make up for lost time and be the responsible and loving father that his daughter deserves.
It makes me sad to see some of the men in our circle, who have only the vaguest role in their children’s lives. It’s like they are only parents when the child is right in front of them.
On the flip side, it makes me just as, if not more, sad to see some of our friends fighting sooo hard to be good dads to their children, only to have the mothers doing whatever they can to make that difficult, if not impossible.
As a mom, and as someone who came thisclose to booting her kids’ father out the door, I can’t fathom why a person would try to stand in the way of the father having a relationship with his kids (in situations where the guy is decent, hardworking and caring guy, with no history of abuse or addiction or so on. That, of course, is a horse of a different color!)
thepsychobabble´s last blog ..Prison Warden
Excellent points! I agree with your flip-side point of view and I think that deserves another blog post on it’s own. I also get angry when I see fathers trying be a good fathers yet have to deal with resistant moms. People in those situations need to be reminded that children do not belong to one parent more than the other – that children are products of TWO parents and that both parents should be able to play equal roles in the child’s life.
I agree heartily. I never understand why men feel like they have a choice about whether they choose to be a father or not. It is a biological fact – be a man and deal with it!
On the other hand, my friend’s son had a rough experience recently. A girl had told him he was the father and unfortunately a paternity test proved that he wasn’t. He was totally heartbroken because he had already bonded with the baby. So girls need to be responsible in this area too.
ITA about deadbeat dads AND bitter moms… and it brings to mind one of my grandfather’s favorite sayings: You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can become a parent…
I wish there was a way to wire humanity to put the kids first in all things, but we live in such an adversarial society… we seem to teach everyone that there is only black and white… and the kids are stuck in the middle. I have so much respect for parents who divorce or separate and still put the kids first!
Heather ~ Acting Balanced Mom´s last blog ..‘Iwannastay’