21
Don’t Pity The (Other) Woman
After I wrote my blog post this morning about John Edwards, my thoughts kept turning to the other person responsible for this situation.
The Other Woman.
Or perhaps we should just call her “Mama.” There is a little girl out there who does.
Why would someone become involved with a married person? I have some ideas, especially when the married person in question is powerful and wealthy. But, whatever the reasoning (or lack thereof), it is usually a situation that will only result in heartache and stress. Or, in this case, a child that didn’t have a father for two years.
I don’t respect women (and men) that sleep with married people and I certainly don’t pity them when the situation becomes disastrous. As is often the case, potential consequences are rarely considered or simply ignored. There are various reasons why married people cheat, but it’s not usually because they are looking for love or another long-term commitment. If that were the case, they would have probably ended their marriage already. Long-term love or partnership is rarely the end result of cheating. Why? There are two reasons: one is because the majority of cheating spouses stay with their partner and the other is that affairs that begin based on secrets and lies usually end the same way.
Some people may view Ms. Hunter as the victim in this situation. Here she is, the single mother of a child whose father denied her for the first two years of her life. It’s certainly a sad situation, but a situation that she helped create. So no, I don’t feel sorry for Ms. Hunter. The only people that have my sympathy are the family members who became involuntary entangled in a web of deception and abuse of trust. And, of course, this especially includes the child borne from these circumstances.
Let’s just hope for the sake of their child, that John Edwards and Rielle Hunter can finally make some decisions based on truth, loyalty, trust, and commitment – to be the best parents possible to their little girl.
21
You ARE The Father! So Act Like One.
As a politician, John Edwards used to have my respect. And I say the same thing about him being a man.
It was so nice to see Mr. Edwards finally come clean about being the father to Quinn, his 2 year-old daughter with Rielle Hunter. He spent the first two years of her life adamantly denying paternity and, subsequently, denying his obligations to his daughter. If only Maury was around as soon as she was born.
I take issue with men like John Edwards. I say to them, step up and BE a man. Be a father. The circumstances of a child’s birth are not their fault, so don’t treat them like the big mistake you may believe them to be. No career or marital situation, whether it’s in the public eye or not, warrants the denial of paternity. If you choose to behave inappropriately by cheating on your wife, then understand that there will always be consequences. And as John Edwards has learned, some consequences are more life-changing than others.
John Edwards lost the first two years of his daughter’s life. When she is old enough to understand the lies surrounding her arrival into the world, she may or may not forgive her father. That will be her choice. But, for now, it’s time for Mr. Edwards to make up for lost time and be the responsible and loving father that his daughter deserves.