Don’t Pity The (Other) Woman

After I wrote my blog post this morning about John Edwards, my thoughts kept turning to the other person responsible for this situation.

The Other Woman.

Or perhaps we should just call her “Mama.”  There is a little girl out there who does.

Why would someone become involved with a married person? I have some ideas, especially when the married person in question is powerful and wealthy. But, whatever the reasoning (or lack thereof), it is usually a situation that will only result in heartache and stress. Or, in this case, a child that didn’t have a father for two years.

I don’t respect women (and men) that sleep with married people and I certainly don’t pity them when the situation becomes disastrous. As is often the case, potential consequences are rarely considered or simply ignored. There are various reasons why married people cheat, but it’s not usually because they are looking for love or another long-term commitment. If that were the case, they would have probably ended their marriage already. Long-term love or partnership is rarely the end result of cheating. Why? There are two reasons: one is because the majority of cheating spouses stay with their partner and the other is that affairs that begin based on secrets and lies usually end the same way.

Some people may view Ms. Hunter as the victim in this situation. Here she is,  the single mother of a child whose father denied her for the first two years of her life. It’s certainly a sad situation, but a situation that she helped create. So no, I don’t feel sorry for Ms. Hunter. The only people that have my sympathy are the family members who became  involuntary entangled in a web of deception and abuse of trust. And, of course, this especially includes the child borne from these circumstances.

Let’s just hope for the sake of their child, that John Edwards and Rielle Hunter can finally make some decisions based on truth, loyalty, trust, and commitment – to be the best parents possible to their little girl.