Mental Monday: My Kid Was Suspended for Bullying? I’m On The Case.

Yesterday, I read this LA Times story about a father who sued his daughter’s school district after they suspended her for two days.  She was suspended by the school after posting an online video in which she and other students teased another classmate and called her mean names.  This video was published on YouTube and seen by who knows how many people.  So, what happened after the bully in this case was suspended? Well, she did something that isn’t so out of the ordinary these days. Sue. Yes, the bully in this case SUED the school district and a U.S. District Judge ruled in her favor. While I don’t agree with the Judge (from a non-lawyer perspective) the ruling itself in this case isn’t what upset me the most. What made me the most angry is who represented this young bully/plaintiff during trial.

Her father.

Rather than agreeing with the school district that the punishment fit the crime and rather than reprimanding his daughter for being a bully, this father sent a message to his daughter saying that being a “mean girl” is OK. He sent a message to her saying that not only was her behavior acceptable, but that he will do everything in his power to support her. And, he did. Am I the only one disturbed by this message? None of us have perfect kids. We want to support them and stand by them, even when they falter. But when our kids behave badly, there needs to be consequences. This young bully needed help from her father, but not in the legal sense. She needed to talk about why she would do something as extreme as post a vicious video about her classmate. She needed to be reprimanded for her actions. She needed a wake-up call that being  mean is not acceptable behavior and that there are consequences. She got none of those things from her father. Instead, she received acceptance and validation for bad behavior.

Her father did not do her any favors.

When a child hurts another child, emotionally or physically, the message should never be – well, in accordance to the law, your behavior was justifiable. Instead, I believe the message should be – well, although you may have a First Amendment right to tease and defame another child to the point of bullish behavior, it is NOT acceptable to me.

What should it matter if the law protects and even rewards the bad behavior of your children? Regardless of the law, being a good role model for your kid is the best lesson you can ever teach them. Be a good person. Treat each other with respect and dignity. Playing nicely with others doesn’t end in the playground. It’s something that we need to remember throughout the duration of our lives. These are the lessons that we need to live by and, most importantly, pass on to our kids.

It’s too bad that the young bully and her father in this story were too busy suing the school district to receive that message.

Anything you would like to add or share? Please comment below.

signature
[disclaimer]