No, not THIS kind of couples-dating!
In a perfect world, all of our friends partner up with people that we adore. In a perfect world, we meet other couples that we both really like. In a perfect world, we get together with our couple-friends and we enjoy spending time with both of them. Equally.
We all know this ain’t a perfect world.
One potentially challenging aspect about becoming a couple is finding other couples that you both enjoy. From both personal experience and from talking to many other couples, it’s really-really-really difficult to find other couples to date. It’s usually the same story – either we like the wife and not the husband, we like the husband but not the wife, or we like one partner but not the other. In some cases, we don’t care for either one. And, admittedly, sometimes they don’t like one of us. Or both of us. Hard to believe, right? Right?!?
Finding other couples to hang out with be just as nerve-wracking and emotional as actual dating. When you’ve got four different personalities to contend with, the dynamic either meshes or it doesn’t. We’re lucky that we have a few couples to hang out with and that we enjoy getting together with every once in a while. It’s good to have other couples in your life, especially when they are in healthy and positive relationships. Nothing bums out a couple more than hanging around other couples that don’t get along very well. And nothing can help boost the energy within a relationship more than hanging out with positive couples that show love and respect for one another.
There are now *dating* sites that cater to couples looking for platonic friendships with other couples. The Dude and I have not used these sites so I can’t vouch for any of them. But, if you and your partner are having trouble finding other couples, maybe it’s worth a shot to check one of them out! Millions of people find compatible dates through the Internet, so I can’t see why couples can’t find compatible couples to date, too.
Do you and your partner have great couple-friends to hang out with or have you had problems finding compatible couples? I would love to hear from you.
do you watch How I met your mother? There have been quite a few episodes dedicated to this. Marshall and Lily are always looking for a couple to date…
lauren´s last blog ..Yay babies!!
I have only seen one episode of that show. I love that they dedicated an episode to this topic! Guess I need to Netflix it now. Do you remember which season?
-Aimee
Hi! I love the idea of “dating” other couples, its so very true that having married friends to hang out with is really fun (and necessary!) BTW, thanks for being a first time commenter on my blog!
elizabeth´s last blog ..A New Point of View
Hey there, stopping by from SITS! I have to say, I haven’t been able to date a man, much less date a couple with said man. But one thing I’ve gotta say, there’s something amazing about the couples who can entertain a single person. I have been the third or fifth wheel with a few couples, and sometimes it’s not very comfortable, but other times it’s like we’re just a bunch of friends sitting around and enjoying the evening.
So I know it’s slightly off topic from this post, but couples, please don’t leave all your single friends in the dust while you search out your married friends!
InspiredDreamer´s last blog ..Be My Guest Monday! Life in Chaos
Thanks for your comment because it’s so true! I could not agree with you more about couples spending time with their single friends without making it into a *third wheel* situation. We have a few single friends, both men and women, that we both adore and love spending time with. I think the same goes with single friends and couple-friends – as long as everyone gets along and enjoys each other company, those friendships can work beautifully!
-Aimee
My boyfriend and I have mostly single friends. It makes it a little challenging at times and we often wish we had other couples to hang out with. I don’t think I’d ever use one of those websites though. I don’t know why, but the idea of it weirds me out.
How funny and how true. The Hubs and I are still searching for a special couple to friend with.
Stopping by from SITS.
Tina Lane´s last blog ..Virtual Field Trip: Exploring Columbus
SO TRUE! It’s so hard to find a couple that me and the Hubby both like. I have my friends and he has his and rarely do they meet in the middle!
Thanks for stopping by and welcoming me to SITS!
hub and i were a bit older when we got married, so we both had established relationships…
it took a while to make new couple friends, but together we have found some really great friends…
i just signed up for SF bloggy boot camp too!
popping by from sits
Christy´s last blog ..Tuesday Night Supper Club–Coconut Shrimp
Yay, hope to meet you at Bootcamp! =)
-Aimee
Stopping by from SITS!
Oh my goodness, it is so hard to find couples to date, if you will. My husband and I are 22, so that makes it an added stress for us to find couple friends that we both enjoy, since the large majority of our friends are single and going out all the time, while I’m staying home with a 13 month old and he’s working during the day. We wouldn’t even know where to meet other couples at! lol I might have to check that site out!
Erica @ The Bird Nest´s last blog ..Food War
If you do check out the website, let us all know how it works out! =)
-Aimee
Stopping by from SITS to say HI!
Don’t think I have heard of this….
Please stop by:
http://extremepersonalmeasures.blogspot.com
denise´s last blog ..Tip Junkie, Top 2 Tuesday & Sproost
Interesting thoughts. I wonder how much the prevalence of separation and divorce makes this issue worse in our lives? We get married, bringing to the relationship all our pre-marriage friends. We spend time getting to know new wives/husbands, and we all rub along like a big family for the sake of our original friend. But then there’s a divorce and someone new comes along, the person we had got used to disappears and we are asked to become friends with someone else IF we are to keep the friendship of the partner. It’s work, and I wonder if this is why many people decide to let old friendships go rather than get used to yet another partner…
Interesting points! I know just from our single friends that we have had to get used to new boyfriends and girlfriends – sometimes that’s a good thing and sometimes it isn’t!
-Aimee
Solid post. I totally agree that hanging out with couples where you don’t have right chemistry with one (or sometimes both) can be soul-draining.
We’ve got friends who are great as individuals and couples that we can ‘date’ but they don’t live near enough for it to be a regular thing. It’s fun while it lasts, but on the whole our social lives are pretty separate – me and the kids (my constant homies) and hubby and his mates down the pub.
We are aiming to do more grown-up dinner parties and stuff to widen our circle of couple friends – and especially cool folk with young kids, as that’s a third category that can be difficult to find or bond with.
Babes about Town´s last blog ..Baby on a leash
Popped in from SITS to say hi! Since moving to SA three years ago, the only couples we get along with are in their 50s and retired!
Stopped by from SITS – I have to say that since moving to Charleston, we don’t seem to have couples we like together – I have lots of mommy friends, and Wayne has friends/colleagues from work, but we really don’t have couples we socialize with regularly… I guess part of that is that we have different social needs – Wayne is out and talking all day as a professor and I’m a stay at home mom with a non-verbal 3 year old… so when I want to go out its to have conversation and he just wants quiet…
Heather ~ Acting Balanced Mom´s last blog ..Friendly Wednesday: Out of the Box and Into the Kitchen!
My husband has his best friend, male, and his wife, as well as the brother, wife and parents of his best friend as friends. He also has another best friend, female, who has been in a long term relationship for over 10 years. Of his friends, the female best friend and her boyfriend are the only ones we’ve hung out with on a regular basis. I see his other friends possibly once a year for some occasion or another. As for me, I have my best friend and her husband, someone I consider my brother, and we do things together as a couple all the time. We have tried hanging out with other couples, but it just didn’t work out. Stopping in from SITS. Enjoyed your synopsis today!
The Drama Mama´s last blog ..Shoot the Poop Monday
OMG! I need one of these sites!! My hubby and I seem to have a few couple friends, but when I like the wife, he doesn’t love the husband and vice versa…of course that could be because he seems to like very young guys and I am old, in menopause and have kids out my butt….
Lee the hot Flash Queen´s last blog ..Holy Hot Flashes, It’s My SITS Day!
Yes, and I hate dating. Fortunately for us we’ve lucked into some great friendships!
Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..I’m back
I think that if we lived closer to one another we may be able to couple date.
We have a couple friend and we thank them and they thank us often because we do all like hanging out. We share similar things – got married in the same month, and had sons and bought houses in the same year – we love food and we like to be outside.
It is a gift!!
I love the blog Aimee! nice work! What do you have to say about feminist househusbands? BCH is doing splendidly.
Willow, without a doubt, we would be dating you and BCH if we lived closer! Wish that were the case because good couples are hard to find. =)
Thanks so much for your sweet comment. As for feminist househusbands, I want to know more, too! I might have a feminist for a husband, but he doesn’t know the first thing about full-time parenting. So, if BCH wants to write a guest feature about his experience, I want to post it! I have no doubt BCH is doing an incredible job at his best gig yet.
Hope to see you all soon!
xoxo
-Aimee