Mental Monday: Beating The Holiday Blues

The holiday blues can get to any of us.

‘Tis the season for large family gatherings, spending more money than we should, eating more than we should, and driving ourselves crazy trying to be thankful, happy, and merry.

The “most wonderful time of the year” ain’t always that wonderful.

Holidays can often wreak havoc on our mental health as we try to live up to the emotional expectations and obligations of the holiday season. We are often stressed out and stretched too thin as we prepare for a time of peace and joy. The holiday season can easily take a toll on any of us, but for some people it can be a time filled with serious conflicts and emotions.

There are people that tend to be more prone to the holiday blues. People who have lost a loved one may be flooded with unresolved grief and painful memories of a once joyful time of year. For people with strained relationships with family members, this time of year can be filled with stress and conflict. Some people are not able to join their families for the holidays, which can bring on  feelings of guilt and loneliness. And for people and families that are struggling financially, stretching the wallet or debt even more can trigger feelings of shame and depression.

For many people, the next 6 weeks are often filled with anything but holiday cheer.

If you’re feeling stressed or anxious during the upcoming holidays, make the time to check in with yourself.  Putting on a happy face to “get through the holidays” isn’t doing anyone any favors, especially not for you. If this time of year is usually more stressful than festive, figure out what you need to do to alleviate that stress and make some changes.

Here are some great tips to beat the Holiday Blues from the Mayo Clinic:

1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
3. Be realistic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can’t come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videotapes.
4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression too.
5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone’s name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That will help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
7. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. If it’s not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
8. Don’t abandon healthy habits. Don’t let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.
9. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing, and restoring inner calm.
10. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Have any other tips to beat the holiday blues? Please share them here.