20
The Good Dad
The best moments in life are not filled with words. Only love. The Dude and The Monkey, on vacation, in 2008.
Seven years ago, this week, I was introduced to the Dude by my sister.
Before I met him, there was a trend with most of the guys I dated. The more I got to know them, the less I liked them. The opposite was true with the Dude. After every e-mail, phone call, or date, I liked him even more. Within a month, I knew this guy had *The One* potential. But what really locked my heart up was something he said to me shortly after we started dating.
During one of our many conversations about life ambitions, goals, and dreams, the Dude mentioned that he could not wait to be a father. That really floored me, mostly because having kids was the last thing on my mind. I had too many other important things to do, like finish my graduate degree and get a promotion. But here was this highly ambitious and successful 26 year old man telling me that the most important thing he ever wanted to become was a good dad. In that same conversation, he questioned how he would be able to handle the task of working grueling hours at a law firm and being present for his future kids. He wanted to be there for every milestone, every first day of school, every parent-teacher meeting, and every soccer game. In fact, he wanted to coach the soccer team. He told me right then and there that he would quit his job if it meant he couldn’t be there for his kids. Despite not knowing him very well at the time, I believed him. Seven years and one kid later, I still believe him. Because it’s true. (continues…)
14
Mental Monday: Extreme Encouragement
photo from NY Daily News
Before I left my teen years behind, I had three speeding tickets, one solo trip to Spain for a summer, and had jumped out of an airplane. To say I was adventurous (and obviously even reckless at times) is an understatement. I lived for an adrenaline-rush. I craved adventure. I occasionally attempted death-defying activities. I give thanks every day that I made it out of my teen years alive.
My parents didn’t encourage any of these activities. In fact, they made it a point to strongly discourage me. I give them most of the credit for helping me enter adulthood safe and sound.
When I read about 16 year old Abby Sunderland and her extreme goal to sail around the world solo, her behavior and drive didn’t really surprise me. Many, if not most, teenagers are adventurous and crave adrenaline-inducing activities. Many teenagers believe they have the maturity, skills, knowledge, and wisdom of most adults. If not more! Many teenagers believe they are indestructible and live their lives as if harm nor death can ever touch them. It takes a while for them to understand otherwise.
There is a developmental reason why teenagers still need parenting and guidance, especially when they are more inclined to risky and carefree behavior. Teenagers often lack the cognitive ability to make good decisions. Why? Because the adolescent brain is not yet fully developed. Research shows that the prefrontal cortex region of the brain, the area that processes complex cognitive functioning, behaviors, and decision-making skills, is the last part of the brain to mature. The prefrontal cortex, which handles planning, setting priorities, social behavior, weighing consequences, and suppressing impulses, is not fully developed until about the age of 25. (continues…)
26
I’m A Guest Over At Tight Bod With A Pod Today!
Have you heard about Tight Bod With a Pod yet?
I was introduced to this fabulous website earlier this year and was so impressed with their helpful tips for mamas and mamas-to-be that I wrote a blog post about it. TBWaP has quickly become one of my favorite resources for parenting and lifestyle topics.
I am clearly a big fan, so it was an honor when they asked me to contribute an article. It’s up on the website now, so check it out! And while you’re there, make sure to sign up for their daily newsletter.
24
Come To This Park Often?
While at my neighborhood park the other day, I started chatting with a mom while our boys played together on the playset. This isn’t unusual for me since I tend to strike up conversations with other parents at the park, especially if our kids are interacting together. I’ll exchange a few pleasantries, chat about the kids, and then go on my way. Maybe I’ll see them again, but often I don’t. It doesn’t matter much to me anyways.
But this time was different.
This mom was really cool and I liked her immediately. We simply had one of those conversations that just *clicked.* Within a matter of minutes, we learned a great deal about each other and discovered we had quite a bit in common. I felt a connection and wanted to get know her more. I could tell she felt the same way, too. But, then the Dude arrived at the park to surprise the Monkey and, after an introduction and a few more minutes of chatting, she turned away to run after her boys and we started getting ready to head home. I didn’t quite know how to approach her after that, so I left without getting her digits.
I learned something that day. Picking up on other moms is hard to do.
It’s one thing to meet new mom (or dad) friends at playgroups, sports, lessons, or through school, but how do you ignite a friendship with someone you just met and connected with…but have no way of knowing if you’ll ever see them again? Is it weird to ask for a number or e-mail address (or offer your own) in a matter of minutes? I don’t have much, if any experience with this sort of thing. Nearly everyone I call a friend just somehow became a part of my world, mostly through regular interactions at places like work or school or through mutual friends. Between my real life friends, acquaintances, and online community of blogging buddies, I don’t actively look to expand my social network. But, just like when you’re looking for romance, friendships can often be found when you’re least expecting it.
I have a new appreciation for the men and women who are confident and brave enough to ask someone they just met for their information. I’m sure they fail at times, but I’m certain they ultimately succeed as well. And what’s the big deal if someone says no, right? At least they took a chance and asked.
I think I missed an opportunity to become friends with someone I thought was really cool. I hope I see her at the park again one day. And, if I do, I’ll make sure to take a chance.
21
Favorite iphone Apps For Toddlers
favorite iphone apps for toddlers
On a beautiful sunny San Francisco morning in late October of 2007, I pushed my son into this world. Before the epidural had even worn off, the Dude gave me what I consider the best *push* present ever: an iphone.
That morning, I was introduced to two things I can’t live without.
Now that my son is exactly 2.5 years old, I rely on my iphone even more these days. There are a ton of great apps to keep the little ones distracted and entertained when necessary. While we’re standing in a long line at the grocery store or sitting at the doctor’s office, I simply select a few apps to entertain (and even educate) my son while we wait. Please note that most of these apps will require assistance, so don’t hand the iphone over to the toddler and let them have at it, especially if your kid is like mine. You’ll be upgrading to the next iphone version much earlier than you would like.
Without further ado, these are my 15 favorite toddler-friendly apps that are a no-fail solution to a cranky and impatient child. (continues…)