14
Big Brother (Part I)
When two people are dating for a while, it’s only a matter of time before The Big Question starts getting asked of them: So, when are two getting married?
Immediately after they become engaged another Big Question starts coming around: So when is the Big Day?
As soon as the newlyweds step off the plane from their honeymoon, The Big Question gets much, much bigger: So, when are you two having kids?
For some married/partnered couples, that question will never get answered. But for the rest of us, we hope that the Big Questions stop as soon as we push junior out.
Not so fast. (continues…)
13
Raising Likable Kids: Tips and Tricks to Avoid Raising a Future Kanye West
There are a lot of people, parents and non-parents alike, who have issues with being around other people’s children. And, at times, they have good reason. Badly behaving children can often grow into disrespectful and rude adults, but we parents can work to change poor behavior before they’re off into the world pissing off one person or another. In a world filled with Joe Wilsons, Kanye Wests, and Serena Williams, us parents need to reign in the disrespectful and ill-mannered pint-sized versions…before it’s too late.
Children are born with a certain temperament and personality, but none of them are born with good manners, an education on how to respect others, or civilized social skills. Those are the things that parents must teach them. Many parents will succeed while just as many others will fail miserably. Poorly behaved children can easily make things miserable for everyone else. How many of us have been steamed by a screaming child in a restaurant or seen arm-flailing temper tantrums in the middle of a store…or worse? I will not blame a child for their lack of manners. I don’t get angry at the child running around a restaurant or the child who shoves my child while the mother just watches. It’s not their fault that they don’t know how to behave. Obviously, I blame the parents. Please note that I am not referring to children that have serious developmental and/or behavioral problems. I am talking about an average child that does not know how to behave appropriately. (continues…)
01
Hush Little Baby…Please Go to Sleep!
No one truly appreciates the value of sleep until they have children.
Shush!
As I fondly look back at my pre-kid years of blissful slumber, I wonder how I’ve been managing to get through my parenting days with roughly 6 hours of sleep a night. Mind you, that is not always 6 consecutive hours of sleep. That would be manageable. No, my sleep stages are sometimes peppered with little interruptions from the Monkey. There are nights when he will sleep peacefully through the night. But then, as most parents experience, there are nights when it is a battle to get to the Delta zone.
We all hear from parents who claim that their children have slept through the night since they were 2 months old. Unless you CIO, Ferberize, or do some other form of sleep-training that involves crying-it-out, infants that sleep through the night are not typical. I had heard about CIO and Dr. Ferber way before I had a kid. I had been educated and trained in behavior modification, so this was nothing new to me. However, I had never actually attempted to personally modify the sleep behavior of an infant, especially my own infant. To say it was much more difficult than I anticipated would be a huge understatement. (continues…)
30
What About Monkey?
Playing, according to Monkey
The Monkey, like his parents, has a few OCD tendencies. Just like Mama, the Monkey needs everything to be clean and organized. Examples? The Monkey enjoys lining up all his toys and will throw a fit if you move his things. He will also pull coasters out for drinks, including his milk bottle. Mama doesn’t even use coasters. Another example? Here we are at today’s playgroup. You will not see other children in the picture because they are playing. The Monkey apparently felt it was more important to sweep.
Almost there...
The Monkey, like the Dude, also enjoys cool gadgets. He especially loves pushing buttons that tend to be noisy. He will become fixated on them until Mama wants to scream. The doorbell has become his biggest source of joy. I’m concerned that his obsession will one day lead into a much bigger problem, like a ding-dong-ditching addiction. I foresee a future filled with many angry neighbors.
OK, OK, I guess these “obsessions” are actually quite common in toddlers. However, if he ever watches “What About Bob” and tells me that he can relate…I’ll blame his dad.
28
The Mama Resume
I think stay-at-home parents should be able to put this job down on their resume. It makes sense, doesn’t it? It’s the most challenging job in the world.
If you are someone who stays home with infants or toddlers, you are required to work 24/7, including holidays. You are always on-call. You get no breaks (unless you count nap-time, but that’s usually code for chore-time) and the pay is lousy. Sure, the boss might be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen and will melt your heart with a smile, but he or she is probably also one of the most ungrateful people you’ve ever met. There is never a “please” or a ”thank you” for all your hard work. Oh, and the boss has probably pissed, pooped, or vomited all over you…at least a hundred times.
You know, any other employee would have a legitimate lawsuit against their boss for doing such inhumane things. Stay-at-home-parents just get to do it all over again tomorrow.
Where’s a union when you need one?