Mental Monday: When Talk Isn’t Cheap. A Guide To Finding A Good Therapist.

A different era of therapy that was simply...'Mad'

Finding a good therapist is very similar to dating. You’re not going to connect with everyone and, chances are, you might have to try out a few different types to find *The One.*

When you’re dating someone and you just don’t feel a connection, you probably won’t continue to see that person…right? Well, the same should go for a therapist. When you see a therapist, whether it’s for 10 weeks, 10 months, or for 10 years (you know, for the Woody Allen types), there needs to be a good connection, a good rapport, and a huge level of trust. Without those essential components, which we all know are necessary for any healthy relationship, it’s just not gonna work. Of course, trust and rapport don’t usually happen overnight. It will probably take a few sessions or more to figure out whether or not the therapist is a good fit or not.  It’s OK if the therapist is not the right for you. The best thing to do is tell them. Most therapists don’t take it personally and will even help refer you to someone else. Don’t you wish bad dates would do the same?

The Process of Therapy

There is something important to keep in mind: the therapist is not your friend.

Therapy is and should be hard work and a good therapist will challenge you. Often. Some clients take issue with the challenging stuff because it can be a painful process. The thing to remember is that a therapist is not out to hurt you but rather to help pave a way for you to get to a better place in your life. Good therapists are a support system. They not only help provide you with tools to help you but they also point out the your strengths, some of which may be buried beneath internal conflicts and everyday struggles. A therapist doesn’t give you advice about how to live your life. They won’t tell you that you should leave your spouse, quit your job, or give tough-love to an unruly teenager.  They don’t know the answers for you because they will never know you better than you know yourself. They don’t live with the consequences of your life choices. But what they can do is help shine a light on those internal resources and strengths within yourself to help get you to the place you want to be. (continues…)