16
Marriage: The Biggest Identity Thief of All
When I got married a little over four years ago, I did something that I never thought I would do.
I took my husband’s last name.
The Dude never asked me to take his name, nor did he assume I would. After we got engaged, I had a full year to think about whether or not I would change my name. It was a good thing I had that kind of time since it took me about a full year to come to my decision. I went back and forth quite a bit but, in the end, I decided that taking his last name was the best thing to do for logistical purposes. It didn’t matter to me whether or not I shared the same surname as the Dude, but I did want the same surname as our future children.
These days, it’s not necessarily expected for women to take a husband’s last name. I know plenty of wives that never took their husband’s last name and I know plenty more that hyphenated the two surnames together. Some couples are getting creative with sharing a family name. I know couples who adopted both surnames and then hyphenated while others simply combined the last names to create a new name. I’ve even known a few husbands who took the last name of their wife.
As appealing as some of these options were, none of them really seemed like the ideal fit. The Dude liked his name and, considering where he was in his law career, it would have been difficult for him to make a name change. Although I had an established career of my own for many years, I was about to embark in a whole new direction shortly after the wedding. A few months before I got married, I had quit my job in preparation of starting another graduate program and a new career. From that perspective, changing my name was not going to be a problem. I figured if I was going to change my name, there was no better time. It would be a fresh start with everything: new name, new career, and new husband. What’s the big deal about giving up my surname. It’s just a name. Right?
Not really. (continues…)
06
Gay Rights: Why Mamas Need To Take A Stand Against Inequality
As a woman, I often think about the time before my birth and what my female ancestors had to endure.
For centuries, women have had to fight to establish equality in a very paternalistic society. Women had to band together to form the Suffrage Movement. Women fought for equality during the Civil Rights Movement and created the Feminist Movement when society still treated them like second-class citizens. In the last 100 years, women have been incredibly successful in overturning anti-discriminatory laws and creating new laws to protect our rights. There is no doubt that the time we live in now is markedly different than the era of our mothers and grandmothers.
As women:
- We lived without voting rights until 1920.
- We lived without FDA-approved birth-control until 1960.
- We lived without discrimination laws and equal opportunity in the workplace until 1964.
- We lived with sex-segregated employment ads until 1968.
- We lived without the Equal Pay Act until 1970.
- We lived without Title IX until 1972.
- We lived without reproductive rights until 1973.
- We lived without the Pregnancy Discrimination Ban until 1978.
- We lived without the Lily Ledbetter Act until 2009.
From our mothers to our great-great-great grandmothers, women have worked hard to ensure a better future for their daughters, and the women of today continue to take a stand against injustice and inequality. As women, we have lived with discrimination and intolerance. We have lived as second-class citizens. We have lived without laws to protect ourselves and our rights. So, I ask my mama-sisters, why aren’t we working harder to ensure a better future for our children and grandchildren? Why aren’t we doing more to stand up to injustice and inequality? (continues…)
26
Your new baby is here. No accessories included.
Aden and Anais wraps
We all know that babies don’t need much, other than lots of love, nourishment, and nurturing. But, for those of us that care for babies, we do need stuff. Lots of it.
I’ve been asked by friends about the products I use or what I think is necessary to have for first-time parents. I know there are already lots of lists of *baby essentials* out there, but this one is my own version of necessities. And, by necessities, I mean that I don’t function very well as a parent without this stuff. This does not mean that I think you need all this stuff, too.
Note: I have not received any promotional items or paid sponsorship for any of the below-mentioned items. Everything listed is something I’ve been using for the past 2 years already. Just putting that out there.
Without further ado…
Sleep:
- Binkies – because I like sleeping and peaceful shopping trips as much as you do. My kid prefers Avent. Not sure why.
- Muslin wraps – I love these Aden and Anais muslin wraps. Good for swaddling newborns or keeping your toddler warm during a walk – I don’t leave the home without one. They are also my go-to gifts for new parents.
- Babysense Infant Movement Monitor – if you’re like me, you’re an anxious mom who will watch her kid breathe at night. I would not have been able to sleep at night without this movement monitor. I used it every night for the first year until my kid started rolling off of it. (continues…)
25
Bring Back the Yip Yips!
(A Petition and Open Letter to Sesame Street)
Dear Sesame Street,
Like so many other people born in the 1970′s, I grew up with you. In fact, from the period of 1979 to 1984, I have no other television memory except for you and Mr. Rogers. Oh, and the Thriller video. But, really, most of my TV viewing was all about you.
Until my own kid started watching your show late last year, it had been a really long time since I had viewed a Sesame Street episode. I was quite impressed with all the updated features and new characters. What was even more cool was to see all the characters from my youth: Cookie Monster! The Count! Grover! Big Bird! Oscar the Grouch! Snuffy! Wow…even Gordon?!?
But, I have to ask… Where are the Yip Yips?
As the Yip Yips age quietly on a dusty shelf in your storage room, thousands (nay, millions!) of people are wondering why the Yip Yips disappeared from the show.
23
Belly Bullies
Me @ 8 months pregnant. No, I was not carrying twins...jerk.
One of the worst things about pregnancy is dealing with people who ask intrusive or insensitive questions. And then there are those who say rude comments…or worse. Like strangers who actually put their hands on a pregnant belly without consent. You know what I call these types of people?
Belly Bullies.
Belly bullies, who tend to be other women, are the equivalent of mean girls from the 7th grade. However, they like to harass pregnant women instead.
So, who are these *belly bullies* and what do they do exactly? Let me tell you.
- They are the strangers who believe they have a right to touch your burgeoning belly. In the wise words of Billy Madison,”that’s assault, brother!” (continues…)