Comments on: You ARE The Father! So Act Like One. http://www.aintyomamasblog.com/you-are-the-father-so-act-like-one/ A Postmodern Take on Mommy Blogging Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:19:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Heather ~ Acting Balanced Mom http://www.aintyomamasblog.com/you-are-the-father-so-act-like-one/#comment-968 Heather ~ Acting Balanced Mom Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:42:28 +0000 http://www.aintyomamasblog.com/?p=2430#comment-968 ITA about deadbeat dads AND bitter moms… and it brings to mind one of my grandfather’s favorite sayings: You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can become a parent… I wish there was a way to wire humanity to put the kids first in all things, but we live in such an adversarial society… we seem to teach everyone that there is only black and white… and the kids are stuck in the middle. I have so much respect for parents who divorce or separate and still put the kids first! ITA about deadbeat dads AND bitter moms… and it brings to mind one of my grandfather’s favorite sayings: You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can become a parent…

I wish there was a way to wire humanity to put the kids first in all things, but we live in such an adversarial society… we seem to teach everyone that there is only black and white… and the kids are stuck in the middle. I have so much respect for parents who divorce or separate and still put the kids first!

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]]> By: adrianscrazylife http://www.aintyomamasblog.com/you-are-the-father-so-act-like-one/#comment-958 adrianscrazylife Fri, 22 Jan 2010 00:49:46 +0000 http://www.aintyomamasblog.com/?p=2430#comment-958 I agree heartily. I never understand why men feel like they have a choice about whether they choose to be a father or not. It is a biological fact - be a man and deal with it! On the other hand, my friend's son had a rough experience recently. A girl had told him he was the father and unfortunately a paternity test proved that he wasn't. He was totally heartbroken because he had already bonded with the baby. So girls need to be responsible in this area too. I agree heartily. I never understand why men feel like they have a choice about whether they choose to be a father or not. It is a biological fact – be a man and deal with it!

On the other hand, my friend’s son had a rough experience recently. A girl had told him he was the father and unfortunately a paternity test proved that he wasn’t. He was totally heartbroken because he had already bonded with the baby. So girls need to be responsible in this area too.

]]> By: mama http://www.aintyomamasblog.com/you-are-the-father-so-act-like-one/#comment-945 mama Thu, 21 Jan 2010 20:32:27 +0000 http://www.aintyomamasblog.com/?p=2430#comment-945 Excellent points! I agree with your flip-side point of view and I think that deserves another blog post on it's own. I also get angry when I see fathers trying be a good fathers yet have to deal with resistant moms. People in those situations need to be reminded that children do not belong to one parent more than the other - that children are products of TWO parents and that both parents should be able to play equal roles in the child's life. Excellent points! I agree with your flip-side point of view and I think that deserves another blog post on it’s own. I also get angry when I see fathers trying be a good fathers yet have to deal with resistant moms. People in those situations need to be reminded that children do not belong to one parent more than the other – that children are products of TWO parents and that both parents should be able to play equal roles in the child’s life.

]]> By: thepsychobabble http://www.aintyomamasblog.com/you-are-the-father-so-act-like-one/#comment-940 thepsychobabble Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:48:01 +0000 http://www.aintyomamasblog.com/?p=2430#comment-940 It makes me sad to see some of the men in our circle, who have only the vaguest role in their children’s lives. It’s like they are only parents when the child is right in front of them. On the flip side, it makes me just as, if not more, sad to see some of our friends fighting sooo hard to be good dads to their children, only to have the mothers doing whatever they can to make that difficult, if not impossible. As a mom, and as someone who came thisclose to booting her kids’ father out the door, I can’t fathom why a person would try to stand in the way of the father having a relationship with his kids (in situations where the guy is decent, hardworking and caring guy, with no history of abuse or addiction or so on. That, of course, is a horse of a different color!) It makes me sad to see some of the men in our circle, who have only the vaguest role in their children’s lives. It’s like they are only parents when the child is right in front of them.
On the flip side, it makes me just as, if not more, sad to see some of our friends fighting sooo hard to be good dads to their children, only to have the mothers doing whatever they can to make that difficult, if not impossible.
As a mom, and as someone who came thisclose to booting her kids’ father out the door, I can’t fathom why a person would try to stand in the way of the father having a relationship with his kids (in situations where the guy is decent, hardworking and caring guy, with no history of abuse or addiction or so on. That, of course, is a horse of a different color!)

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