Let’s start with pregnancy. It’s been said that the physical strain of pregnancy and childbirth can take a year off your life. For some of us, that experience might have shaved off about five years. Remember that life sucking machine from the movie, Princess Bride? Well, that’s what labor felt like for me.

After the kid is born, it’s all about the kid. You barely have time to shower and throw on some lip-gloss let alone check in with your physical and mental well-being. Sure, you’re in and out of doctors offices all the time, but you rarely (if ever) see one for yourself. Oh, you’ve had a migraine for a week? A weird bump? A lingering cough? Who has time to check in with a real doctor? That’s why they invented WebMD.

When your kid starts preschool, it’s all downhill from there. Children become carriers for all things germy and disease-ridden. There is no doubt that you will get sick when you have kids. Often. If your child has a runny nose and cough, expect to wake up the next morning with the same problem. You’ll probably get even more sick than the kid, but you don’t have time to wallow in Kleenex-wrapped pity. Get back in the kitchen and make their lunch! And, speaking of lunch, who has time to eat it? You might serve your kid organic and nutritious meals, but you’re often relegated to live off saltines, canned chili, and whatever particles of food are left on the highchair.

Physical health aside, let’s talk about something that can wreak even more havoc on the body. I’m talking about our mental well-being. Were you anxious and neurotic before kids? Yes? That was nothing. Expect your anxiety level to multiply a thousand times. Not only is the world a dangerous place, but so is your house. If you’re like me, every single drawer and cabinet door is child-proofed.  There are baby gates everywhere. There is an alarm on all the doors (just in case the kid tries to escape). TV’s are secured or strapped against the wall. All cords are stored away, oven doors and toilet seats are locked, and there is absolutely nothing breakable around. The kid’s room is practically empty other than a few stuffed animals and a baby monitor. Sometimes all you want is some peace and quiet, but once you finally get it you’ll freak out that something is wrong.

There is no peace. Ever.

Your mind will always be thinking about the what if’s. You hear of horrible stories and experiences from other parents and then play the “what-if-that-happened-to us?” scenario over and over in your mind. There’s a good chance that the new cough or slight fever is the H1N1.  You worry about letting your kids walk down the street or go to a friend’s house. You worry about vaccinating. Is Jenny McCarthy right? Will my kid end up like Rain Main if I vaccinate against polio? Maybe polio isn’t such a bad thing.

Is it any wonder why there are so many mom blogs and twitter accounts with the words – alcohol, bottle, rum, drink, etc… So many of these moms are so stressed out that they don’t know how else to cope. Drinking moms could be laughed off as being cliche if major tragedies didn’t occur from play-dates fueled with martini’s. We’ve all heard the horror stories about that. So, while some moms drink, others need Trazadone just to ease their restless and worried mind. I have a feeling that the consumer demand for sleep medication is dominated by parents of young children.

On a serious note, it’s not that uncommon to put yourself second (or third, fourth, etc…) behind your kids.  We will (literally) break our backs for our kids, but even that might not be a good enough reason to tend to ourselves. We need to prioritize our own physical and mental health, too. We need to eat well, exercise, and stay healthy. We need good coping mechanisms to deal with stress: think yoga, lunch with friends, or a walk around the neighborhood. We need to sometimes check out in order to check in with ourselves. As difficult as it might be, take some time every week to do something for yourself. Parents are caretakers and the role of a caretaker is often the most difficult job in the world. You’re so busy tending and fretting over other people that you don’t do the same for yourself. Make the time. Get your partner, family member, or friend to watch the kid(s) for a few hours every week and don’t feel guilty for doing so. Your family, your body, and your sanity will thank you for it.

Aden and Anais wraps

We all know that babies don’t need much, other than lots of love, nourishment, and nurturing. But, for those of us that care for babies, we do need stuff. Lots of it.

I’ve been asked by friends about the products I use or what I think is necessary to have for first-time parents. I know there are already lots of lists of *baby essentials* out there, but this one is my own version of necessities. And, by necessities, I mean that I don’t function very well as a parent without this stuff.  This does not mean that I think you need all this stuff, too.

Note: I have not received any promotional items or paid sponsorship for any of the below-mentioned items. Everything listed is something I’ve been using for the past 2 years already.  Just putting that out there.

Without further ado…

Sleep:

• Binkies – because I like sleeping and peaceful shopping trips as much as you do. My kid prefers Avent. Not sure why.
• Muslin wraps – I love these Aden and Anais muslin wraps. Good for swaddling newborns or keeping your toddler warm during a walk – I don’t leave the home without one. They are also my go-to gifts for new parents.
• Babysense Infant Movement Monitor – if you’re like me, you’re an anxious mom who will watch her kid breathe at night. I would not have been able to sleep at night without this movement monitor. I used it every night for the first year until my kid started rolling off of it.

Breastfeed:

• Boppy and My Breast Friend nursing pillows – I had both and alternated between the two. I was not able to breastfeed comfortably without them. If I had to choose between the two, I would go Boppy because it’s more soft and easy to use.
• Medela Pump in Style – A great breast pump: easy to use, clean, and carry. A must have for breastfeeding working moms or a nursing mom that simply needs to get out of the house every once in a while.
• The Hands-Free Bra – I did not know about this bra until about a month after I started pumping. When I learned of its existence, I cried with relief. Do not pump without it.

Eat:

• Born-Free bottles – they’re a pain to clean because of multiple parts and they will leak if not properly sealed. But I still like them anyways because they’re BPA free and my kid has loved them since he started the bottle.
• Boon feeding products – I love their squirt feeding spoon, no spill bowls, plates, and utensils.
• JJ Cole bibs – sturdy, stylish, and easy to clean…what more do you need?
• Neat Solutions Table Topper – you will need this when dining out. The people cleaning your table will thank you.
• Neat Solutions Mat – unless you really like to clean your floors every day, this product is a must-have.
• Skip Hop Splash – I love this dryer rack for bottles and binkies. It’s cool, modern, and can easily hold  4 Born Free Bottles, plus parts.

Play:

• Baby Bjorn Babysitter Balance – I would not have been able to shower, cook, or eat without this thing. My kid lived in it for the first 6 months of his life.
• Fisher-Price Papasan Cradle Swing – Another life-saver. My kid was in this swing until he was able to touch the birds flying above his head.
• Haba Toys – Haba makes great wooden toys. I especially love their adorable teething toys.
• Melissa & Doug – they make great educational toys. My kid adores the wooden puzzles.
• Camden Rose – another great company that makes wooden, natural toys.
• Li’l Playzone – this has come in handy since the Monkey was 6 months old. He still loves to sit in it with his toys and books. I call it his happy place.

Diaper:

• Seventh Generation diapers and wipes – toxic-free and chlorine-free. I’m sure there are other diapers like that, but I’m loyal to this brand.
• A large purse as a diaper bag – I never did find a good diaper bag that I liked. I didn’t want a whimsical or flowery design on my diaper bag, so I just went with a cool large black bag like this B. Makowsky purse.

Bath:

• Burts Bees bath products- I’ve used everything, from Johnson & Johnson to Mustela.  However, Burts Bees has always been my favorite body wash/shampoo combination.
• Frog Pod Bath Toy Holder -  a brilliant storage system from Boon for bath toys and products.  Adorable gift idea, too.

Decor:

• A rocking chair – always helpful during nursing or story-time. My home decor is modern, so I have this rocking chair from EQ3. I love it.
• Stokke Sleepi crib – Expensive, yes. But this modern crib transforms from a bassinet, to a crib and, finally, to a toddler bed. Brilliant.

Clean:

• Yet another plug for Seventh Generation products. I use all their cleaning supplies – from laundry to dish soap. Their products are hypoallergenic and toxic-free.
• Mrs. Meyers – I’m a big fan of their cleaning products, especially their Baby Blossom Spray. Spray it on toys and other baby gear.
• White Distilled Vinegar – that’s right. Good ol’ fashion vinegar. I use it religiously to clean the high chair and other hard to clean areas that need  to be disinfected.
• CleanWell – this company makes great hand sanitizers that are non-toxic, alcohol-free, 100% biodegrade, and certified cruelty-free. I think the stuff smells nice, too. Like a pine tree or something.

Clothe:

• Crocs – yes, I admit that I own a pair for myself, but I only use them in the garden. My kid, however, rocks his Mario Batali-style Crocs.
• Baby Gap Organics – I love Baby Gap, but especially the organic line. The best part is that there always seems to be a sale.
• Amy Coe – you can find her clothes at Babies R Us. I really love her baby/toddler pajamas.
• Carter’s – I think their onesies are the best. Comfy, soft, and they fit my kid perfectly.

Transport:

• Bugaboo Chameleon – yes, this is an expensive stroller but I also consider it an investment. Other than the crib, the Bugaboo was my priciest baby item. I was willing to spend the money after I read reviews and took it for a test drive. My monkey has loved this stroller since day one. It comes with a bassinet and a toddler seat. The stroller base can also be used with the Graco SnugRide (separate attachment not included). I love this stroller and plan on using it for years to come.
• Graco SnugRide – a great carseat with top ratings. Easy to install and use and we were also able to use the seat with the Bugaboo base. Genius.
• Britax Boulevard – we transitioned to this car-seat after my son graduated from the SnugRide. It’s another top rated car-seat and my kid sleeps like a dream in it.
• The Ergo – this baby carrier is wonderful. We used ours all the time because it was so easy to use, comfortable to wear, and our kid slept wonderfully in it.
• A shopping cart cover – some parents don’t think this is necessary. They are probably the same parents that will change a diaper on the floor of a store. If you’re a germ-freak like me, then pick yourself up one of these.

Safety:

• Baby-proofing - it’s imperative to baby-proof your house before your kid starts crawling. You might be surprised about some of things in your home that could be dangerous. We hired a professional baby-proofing company but, if you would rather do the baby-proofing yourself, then make sure to check out the link listed.
• Baby Gates: we have two baby gates, one at the bottom of our stairs and one in an upstairs hallway. I love these particular gates because they are pressure-mounted and can easily open in both directions.
• Pool Gate: if you have small children and you have a pool, it is essential that you have a pool gate. I liken not having a pool gate to letting your children play with matches, run in a busy street, or play with plastic drycleaning bags. You wouldn’t do that, now would you? Protect your kids and fence off the area that can cause the #2 reason for deaths of children under the age of 5. There is no excuse. Do it.