Comments on: Mental Monday: To Spank or Not to Spank…Shouldn’t Even Be A Question

By: Sareet

Sareet — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 17:48:59 +0000

I come from a family with a strong ethnic pro-spanking MO. I try as hard as I can not to spank my kids. I have made tremendous progress. At one point it was so hard I stood in front of my two year old son and slapped MYSELF in the face to remind myself that it hurts and keep myself from slapping him. Nowadays we are at the point that I just say to him ,”you don’t want mommy to get angry right?” i am so thankful to say I have never spanked my second child. My eldest son is hysterical. I took them to visit my grandmother and he was being his usual wild self. My grandmother actually spanked him in front of me (without asking me of course). I was a little shocked and froze. My son turned, and spanked her right back. I cracked up. He did what I never had the guts to do as a child. Needless to say she never spanked him again and she loves him a lot.

By: julietk

julietk — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 12:25:43 +0000

Lol to Jack above Like jack I think a smack or two in a childhood would not be so damaging ( I think I recieved a handful in mine) I have never smacked my boy. Sadly there are many other ways to damage a child.

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By: mama

mama — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 21:50:40 +0000

Ha! Oh, good…you had me there for a second, Jack. =)

A handful of spanks in a lifetime is one thing (which I still don’t agree with, but can understand how it happens in particularly distressing situations). My biggest problem is with parents that regularly use spanking as a method of discipline. Those are the kids that concern me the most.

Thanks for your comment!
-Aimee

By: mama

mama — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 21:44:47 +0000

Psychological terror is undoubtedly one sure-fire method. Ha! And, not to worry, I hardly doubt that one or two swats on the bottom with an open hand is going to do some serious damage. At least, I don’t think so. =)

-Aimee

By: marymac

marymac — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 17:09:28 +0000

I was spanked and am an anti-spanking mom (I prefer to parent via psychological terror, as I find it more effective…). I can count the times my kids have gotten the ‘butt swat on way up stairs’ for doing something truly awful on less than one hand- and I have four kids. Spanking is wrong, plain and simple, but man, sometimes (like once or twice in a childhood) they earn that little swat. Don’t hate!

By: Jack

Jack — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 16:29:16 +0000

I got spanked a handful of times as a child. As a result I served 15 years in prison for beating up two men with a small dog.

Sorry, the juvenile part of me came out. I really was spanked a handful of times and I don’t think that it damaged me. I am not someone who spanks my children, but I do believe that in some situations it may have merit.

The problem is that it is a very thin line and it is always better to error on the side of caution.

Jack recently posted..A History of My Child’s Life

By: mama

mama — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 18:22:44 +0000

I’m so sorry to hear about the abuse your step-son went through. I’m glad to hear that he now lives with you!

You also hit the nail on the head – spanking just makes kids think that it’s OK. Exactly. Parents that spank are modeling a behavior that children internalize as acceptable behavior. Thus the cycle continues.

Thanks so much for sharing your story and thoughts, Jayme.

-Aimee

By: mama

mama — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 18:16:25 +0000

Great comment, Lucy, because this is such a common issue. We were all raised differently than our spouses and we carry our family history and patterns into our own marriages and parenting styles. Needless to say, this can be problem, especially when it comes to discipline! Parents don’t always have to see eye to eye on every parenting issue but, when it comes to spanking, I hope your husband gets on the same page! =)

-Aimee

By: mama

mama — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 18:10:48 +0000

Good point, Cheryl. For people that were spanked as children, not spanking their own children can be one of the biggest challenges they face. It is so easy and often natural to emulate the same behaviors and actions of which one was raised. And I agree that without a good support system or education about spanking, parents are not likely to change. Sad, indeed.

-Aimee

By: jayme

jayme — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 11:57:38 +0000

I have never actually spanked my kids but I have tapped my daughter on the butt once in a while. And when I mean tapped, I mean tapped. Unfortunately, I have seen the extreme side of spanking. My step-son, who is now living with us full-time, was beaten by his mother with a belt for several years before we knew about it. it started out as just spanking but she couldn’t control herself or her 4 children. (Only 1 from my husband.) It just breaks my heart everyday. Physical punishment is not the answer. It just makes children think that it is ok to hit. Just my opinion.

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